


Harry Potter one shots

by StateOfLoveAndVedder



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: /Reader, F/M, Fluff, M/M, one shots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-12 01:39:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16863805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StateOfLoveAndVedder/pseuds/StateOfLoveAndVedder
Summary: Golden Trio Era





	1. Chapter 1

enjoy the one shots :)


	2. Childhood Friends - Harry Potter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Golden Trio Era

When I was younger, I always used to look out of my window. That window was placed in a house in Privet Drive. People around me always thought the view from my window was not special in any way, there was a house on the opposite side of the street and besides that there were cars here and there and more houses, but that was it.

For me, though, the view was special. Because in the house opposite from mine, lived a boy. A boy who'd caught my attention ever since we were little kids. I never really talked to him, 'cause his aunt and uncle never let him out if it wasn't necessary, but I knew his name: Harry Potter.

Every once in a while I would smile at him if he saw me standing by my window while he was leaving the house with his family and he would smile back. It would always make me feel some kind of way. But I never gave it any thought, since I was only a kid. I didn't know what love was, or everything in that area for that matter.

It was when I was eleven that I found out about my 'special abilities'. Months later, on the train to my new school, Hogwarts, I found out that Harry shared those with me, along with a lot of other people. Harry hadn't seen me yet, but then again, I hadn't walked up to him yet either..

"Hey, is this seat taken?" a girl asked me while motioning to the seat opposite from me. I shook my head no and the girl sat down. It felt good sharing the compartment with someone new, I could do with some friends.

"I'm Bella." The girl said and reached for my hand to shake it, which I did. "My name is (Y/N), smiled.

We talked for a couple of hours and we had a lot of fun. Bella soon became my best friend and my time at Hogwarts was even better than I imagined, everything seemed perfect.

Well, everything except for one thing. Throughout the two years I've attended Hogwarts I developed genuine feelings for this boy. This is the same boy who I used to smile at when he was leaving the house opposite from mine in Privet Drive.

Harry used to talk to me a lot in out first year. It started when my name was said during the sorting ceremony. I looked at Bella, who was still to be sorted and when my eyes reached Harry's, he was already smiling at me and he even waved at me when I sat there.

I was sorted into Hufflepuff and I was sad to hear that Harry and I weren't in the same house. It just would've been a lot easier to actually really get to know each other.

But, even though we were in different houses, we got to know each other really well. Harry walked up to me the day of our first class together and we even partnered up to make our first ever potion.

After the first semester, you could say I was madly in love with the boy, but I never showed any sign of affection towards him. I felt like I wasn't good enough for someone as famous as Harry. He probably could have any girl he wanted. It never crossed my mind that he actually never had a girlfriend.

Bella always told me I had to tell him, but I never listened to her when it came to Harry.

Harry and I got less close at the end of our first year. After he killed You-Know-Who, he seemed to be too absorbed in feeling like a hero and being with the other two so called 'heroes'.

I never expected Harry to be like that. He payed less and less attention to me and I honestly felt like I was abandoned by him in some kind of way. After all, he used to be my other best friend, just nobody noticed that Harry and I were so close, except for Bella. The whole school thought I was just someone who Harry knew, but Harry and I, as well as Bella, Hermione and Ron, knew better than that. Harry was just as much my best friend as Ron's and Hermione's.

Today is the first day of my fourth year at Hogwarts and as I was sharing a compartment with Bella Harry, Ron and Hermione came in a halt at our compartment door. "Hey," Harry said with a smile.

I hadn't seen him for a while and in our second and third year he has made me feel like I was just some toy for him to play with whenever hehad time and whenever hewanted to. Every time I asked him to do something he wasn't available, but whenever he wanted to do something with me I had to come along and I couldn't refuse.

I never really got angry, 'cause I was still madly in love with him and I would never say no to spending more time with him if he asked me to, but over the summer Bella and I talked about it multiple times and I came to the conclusion and realization that I didn't want to be treated like that anymore. If Harry wanted to be my friend, he had to stop acting like the hero.

"Hi." I said, trying not to sound too happy.

It was hard for me, trying to act cold to him, but I had to make my point.

"Is it alright if we join you two?" he asked and before I could say it was alright, Bella interrupted. "No, sorry. (Y/N) and I were talking about something and we would like to keep that privet. I'm sure there are other girls who want to share their compartment with you, right Potter?"

I was about to tell Bella down for being so cold to Harry when Harry spoke up again with a confused and sad expression resting on his face, "Yeah, eh- alright. I guess.."

Ron and Hermione had already left right after Bella snapped a Harry, but Harry was still standing there, looking at the ground. "You gonna move?" Bella said and I nudged her for being so rude.

Harry's head snapped up, "Yeah, sorry. Bye" he told Bella and when his eyes met mine I tried to keep my composure, "Bye (Y/N), see you around."

"Yeah, bye." I said and with that Harry left us alone.

"What the hell?! We agreed that I'd act a bit less in love towards him but we never agreed on you acting like an ass!"

Bella shrugged, "He needs to be told no every now and then. Maybe I was acting like an ass, but he deserved it. He should know not to mess with my best friend, especially now when she's totally in love with him."

In the end, I thanked Bella, but I still felt a bit bad for Harry.

The start of term was weird. Harry acted different than before. He was paying even less attention to me than before. It hurt me and I regretted agreeing with Bella to act colder to him. I decided I had to change something before we really drove apart. So after dinner one night I walked up to the Gryffindor table on my way towards grand doors of the Great Hall.

"Hey, Harry." I said softly and he and the rest of his friends turned around. Harry smiled, but the smile faltered when he saw me, as if he was angry at me.

"Could we, maybe talk?" I asked, unsure of what to say.

Everyone was staring so intently at me and I could feel tears starting to build up behind my eyes. I was never one with great confidence and one could say I was rather intimidated by Harry's friends. The reason for that was also unknown to me.

"Eh, yeah sure. I'm almost done eating, you could wait for me outside the Great Hall?"

I nodded, "Sure. I'll wait for you there."

"Alright, see you in a bit.

"Bye." I said to Harry and his friends.

I earned some 'bye's' and 'see you's' and left the table to wait for Harry outside the Great Hall. After about ten minutes Harry and his friends left the Great Hall. Harry told his friends he'd meet them later on and they left him behind with me.

We started walking in a random direction. "So, you wanted to talk?" Harry asked as I looked at the ground.

I nodded, "I wanted to apologize for mine and Bella's behaviour on the train. I feel like your angry at me somehow and I just wanted you to know it wasn't my intention to come at you so harsh."

When I looked up to meet his eyes, Harry looked at me exasperated. "You shouldn't be apologising, (Y/N). You didn't do anything, I just wasn't expecting Bella to react like that. But I'm not angry at you, believe me. I've just been a bit busy lately, it's got nothing to do with you, really."

I released a breath I didn't know I was holding in relieve after Harry said that. "Oh right, good."

"Anyways, I should really get going now.."

I looked at him, not really believing he had to go already. It was always like this when I asked him to do something or just simply talk. He always had some reason to leave me way too quickly for my liking.

"oh, alright."

"Bye."

"Yeah, bye."

And with that, Harry was gone before I could blink.

Even though I was happy we were on good terms, I still felt shitty about the encounter. It was as though Harry didn't actually wanted to be with me and it felt awful.

After that, Harry acted the same way towards me as he did in the past two years. Bella realised I wasn't myself. This thing going on with Harry got the best of me and I lost myself more and more.

The ball for the Triwizard Tournament came closer and I didn't have anyone to go with.

I had my first class with Harry today and in a moment of confidence I asked him to the ball. His answer: "Oh, well.. I'm really sorry, but I'm already going with someone. Sorry (Y/N)." and he quickly left, as if he was embarrassed by the fact that I daredto ask him.

Me, (Y/N), just a regular Hufflepuff, daring to ask theHarry Potter to the ball? How could I?

I didn't know it was possible, but I felt even worse after that, thanks to Harry. Not even really because he said 'no', 'cause I was actually expecting that, but because of the way he said it and because of how he acted afterwards.

"Forget him, (Y/N). He doesn't deserve you, he's a wanker! Pretending to be too good and too popular for you? Pfff what an idiot." Bella said that same day after I told her, but I simply couldn't forget him that easily. I had been in love with the boy for years, what do you expect?

Days went by and it was time for the ball. "Why aren't you getting ready?" Bella asked me when she saw me lying on my bed, reading a book, just an hour before the ball.

"I'm not going." I said, trying not to sound sad about it.

"Bullshit, you're coming with me. You can even by mine and Adam's date."

Adam was Bella's boyfriend. They had been dating for one year already.

"Like hell I am, just leave me here tonight and enjoy the ball." I snapped.

After some more minutes of Bella trying to get me going she finally dropped it and left to meet up with Adam.

The evening dreaded by and I fell asleep with tears streaming down my face, 'why can't I just not love him?' I asked myself before I finally drifted off.

Two days later, Harry walked up to me after class. "Hey, you alright? You don't look like your usual happy-self and I didn't see you at the ball.."

I scoffed and muttered, 'like you actually care' under my breath, fortunately he didn't hear. "You didn't see me because I didn't go." I explained, ignoring his question.

"What why not?"

I really wasn't in the mood to talk to him so I started walking away, "Because I didn't want to."

Harry sped up to walk beside me, "That's crap, I know you, you love dances and balls and-"

"I didn't go because I didn't have anyone to go with, alright?! I snapped, apparently hard enough for everyone in the hall to hear me.

Harry tried to say something but I was first, "I gotta go." I said and starting walking harder. I desperately wanted to be left alone.

"Hey, wait! Don't leave me like that." Harry yelled and followed me.

That simple sentence was the last drop. I turned fiercely, tears already running down my face. "You, of all people, are the last one able to say that. Every damn time I tried to hang out with you, you bailed on me for no reason. You never had time to even talk to me, so why on earth should I wait for you now? I can't do his anymore Harry, I'm done with being your so called 'friend'!"

When I was done ranting I stormed off, but Harry was soon to catch my wrist. I tried to release myself from his grip, but failed completely.

"Why are you acting like this (Y/N)?" Harry asked, genuinely confused. I scoffed as the tears continued to fall down my face.

"How do you think it feels when the guy you're in love with, ever since you laid eyes on him, pushes you to the side for his other friends and every time you try to hang out with him he tells you he has to go even before you had a real conversation?! How do you think that feels?!"

This time I was fast enough to sprint away, leaving him behind while he asked: "You're in love with me?"

I stormed off to my dormitory and locked myself up, not even letting Bella and the other girls I shared it with in. I ditched class the whole day, crying myself to sleep.

Days had passed and I avoided Harry at any cost, even though I Bella told me he was asking and looking for me every time he saw her. I ignored it and went on avoiding him.

It all went pretty smoothly, until we had potions again together and Harry and I got partnered up. I tried to act like nothing was wrong and every time Harry said something like '(Y/N), talk to me' or 'Why are you avoiding me?' I ignored him completely and went on with the potion like he said nothing.

When were dismissed I immediately put my books into my bag and left the classroom. Harry was too late to stop me and my day went on without having to face Harry in another class.

At dinner I felt a pair of eyes on me the whole time, but I didn't give in. I knew I was breaking myself, but I couldn't face Harry and talk to him, I was too embarrassed.

I cut my dinner short, since I wasn't hungry at all and when I was halfway through the Great Hall I felt, once again, someone grabbing my wrist and turning me around smoothly.

I was about to yell at the person, but I was caught off guard when I felt lips being pressed against my own. I was shocked to see it was Harry who was kissing me in the center of attention. You could say that everyone was looking at us, including the staff at the end of the Hall.

I desperately wanted to vanish from all the attention, but I really didn't want Harry to stop kissing me. I soon gave in and melted into the kiss.

Harry broke the kiss in the need of air.

"Have I got your attention now?" he asked with a sly smirk.

"Explain yourself.." I said a little out of breath, my face more red than ever.

"Well, I've been trying to tell you that I was acting like a fool to you 'cause I'm in love with you and I thought you didn't think of me the same, but then you told me you actually are in love with me and stormed off.. After that you avoided me as if I didn't exist, but I tried telling you I feel the same way. You're just really got at hiding and avoiding, aren't you?"

I slapped his chest playfully, "Shut up!"

"Now, should we leave this all? Everyone's watching us.."

The realisation hit me once again and I turned even more red than before, "Oh gosh, let's go."

He laughed and grabbed my hand. We ran out of the Great Hall into the dark corridors of the castle, he kissed my every minute and pressed my body against a different part of the wall's every time he did so.

"So, you actually love me?" I asked him while standing in front of the dormitory of Hufflepuff.

In response he kissed me and smiled against my lips, "I really do, ever since you waved at me for the first time at Privet Drive."

"You should've said something."

"Oh shut it, just kiss me again."

I didn't have to be told twice. I kissed him with much more passion than ever before.


	3. Someone I used to know - Remus Lupin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Golden Trio Era
> 
> Reader was of legal age when dating Remus before...

"(Y/N), dinner's ready!" Ginny said as she walked into my room. I looked up to see her face, which had a huge grin plastered on it. "I'm sorry Gin, I really need to finish this work." I said as my attention went back to the work I was doing.

Ginny took a seat on the small couch in my room, "But there's a guest and I think you'll want to see him!" she said while getting up again and making her way out of my room.

Of course, I was curious to who the guest was, but I couldn't get away with it, I had to finish my work before midnight. "I'm sorry Ginny, I really can't leave this work undone. Tell everyone, especially your mother, that I am very sorry."

She nodded, "But what will you eat, then?" Ginny asked, "I will be fine, now go enjoy your dinner!" And within a second, Ginny was downstairs again. Leaving me to do my work.

After an hour or two I was finally done with everything and went downstairs to get a drink and something to eat.

When I got downstairs, I realized the house was pretty much empty, except for Molly who was making sure everything was getting cleaned up. Molly noticed me and immediately warmed up some food.

"Everyone is outside watching the fireworks. It's some muggle thing Arthur found out about and they're very much enjoying it. It's probably something Fred and George will use to pull pranks, but I'll let that thought slip before it makes me go crazy." I chuckled and so did Molly.

I finished the delicious food and went outside to watch the fireworks with everyone, completely forgetting about the fact that we had a guest.

"(Y/N)! You finally came out of that hole you live in." Fred and George yelled while walking up to me and hugging me. "Hey! I can't help my job handing me too much work." I said and we all laughed.

They walked me to where the fireworks were and as soon as I got there, I froze.

The one person I once told myself I never wanted to see again, was standing there, in the flesh, a couple of metres away from me.

"Remus," I whispered quietly to myself.

Everyone, except for Remus, turned around to face me. And that was the moment Arthur and Molly's eyes went wide at the realisation.

Remus turned around slowly, "(Y/N)?" he spoke quietly.

"Hey guys, I uh- I'm gonna get inside now.." Fred said and George, Harry, Ron, Arthur and Molly joined with a "Yeah, me too!"

Ginny stayed behind with confusion plastered on her face, "Aren't you guys happy to see each other? It's been a year!"

Everyone, except for Ginny, knew what happened. Her attention was on me first, but when I didn't answer, she turned it towards Remus, who spoke up quietly, "Of course I-"

I cut him off before he could finish his sentence. "I definitely am not happy about this. Not even a little bit."

My teeth were gritted and never had I spoken with so much anger boiling inside of me. Well, once before actually, when Remus told me he wanted to stop whatever was going on between us, 'cause he thought I was too much of a fool to think we could actually work out.

I was genuinely devastated when he told me those things. I was heartbroken, really. It wasn't just anger inside of me when he said those things, it was sadness and my confidence was swiped away from me immediately.

I never had problems with my confidence, but as they say: there's a first time for everything. Remus made sure I got rid of all my confidence for a good half a year.

"What do you mean?" Ginny brought me back to the situation.

I didn't answer, I turned around and stormed inside. Ignoring Remus' voice calling my name and a confused Ginny asking what was going on.

As soon as I reached my room, I got rid of my clothes, went into my bathroom and turned on the cold water from my shower.

The cold water made it's way down my body, as well as the hot tears streaming down my face.

In this past year, I always told myself and the people around me (who knew something was going on between Remus and I) I was doing completely fine. I even told them I was completely over it and it didn't hurt me anymore.

Boy, how wrong was I.

All the memories, especially of that horrific moment with Remus, came flooding back and the tears just wouldn't stop falling.

About a good 45 minutes later I finally turned off the water and left the bathroom after drying myself and getting dressed again.

There was a knock on my door, which I ignored.

"(Y/N) dear, are you alright? We haven't heard anything from you in the past hour. They boys thought you might had left the Burrow, 'cause you wouldn't answer when they knocked.

Knowing it was just Molly on the other side of the door, I slowly opened it and let her in. "I was taking a shower." I confessed.

Molly gave me sad look, "I am so sorry for inviting Remus. Ginny kept saying we should invite him and when I did I never realised.."

I waved my hand as a gesture for her to leave it, "It's not your fault Molly. I shouldn't be the one to hold you back if you want to invite him over."

Molly and I talked for a bit longer and in the end we made the decision that I would just be ignoring Remus, unless it was really necessary for me to say something.

We made our way downstairs and I noticed everyone was sitting on the sofa's and arm chairs in the living room around a fire. I could feel all eyes on me, but I ignored it and took a seat next to Molly on the free sofa. Remus was sitting two seats away from me and as everyone turned their attention back to whatever they were doing, I could feel his gaze still on me.

"So, finally done with work?" George spoke up, breaking the awkward silence between me and nothing.

I nodded, relaxing a bit, "I've done everything I had to do before midnight. I'm relieved though, I've got a week off from today on."

George and I talked for a bit longer and eventually I felt Remus moving his gaze away from me.

The rest of the night went on with everyone just talking to each other about random stuff, but it was great. I managed to not take a single look at Remus and he left me be, sensing I didn't want to talk to him.

After a while, the only ones left were Fred, George, Remus, Arthur and me. Fred, George and Arthur told us they would head to bed. I didn't realise that I was now alone with Remus and before I could get away without any words spoken, it was too late.

"(Y/N)" Remus softly spoke up.

I ignored him and stood up nonetheless, but before I could leave the room he got ahold of my wrist. "Please, just give me a minute."

I removed myself from his grip and without turning to face him I walked further, but again, I was stopped by Remus, who was suddenly in front of me, covering the doorway. "Just take a seat, I need to talk to you."

Without saying a word, I turned around, walking towards the sitting area and taking my previous seat again.

"It's good to see you." Remus said quietly when he took the seat opposite from me.

Still, I didn't say a word. I could feel the anger inside me rising again. I still loved this man so badly and I couldn't handle it.

"Please say something, (Y/N)."

I couldn't hold it anymore, I broke there and then. "What do you want me to say Remus? 'It's good to see you'? 'I missed you'?"

He sighed, "No, not that-"

"I don't want to be here with you, Remus. I don't have anything to say to you. And as far as I'm concerned you've said enough as well."

Remus face was covered with guilt, mine was covered with tears.

"And if you would so kindly allow me, professor, I'd like to go to bed now."

I stood up and Remus followed suit, "Don't call me that."

"Why shouldn't I? You made it pretty clear you were nothing more than my professor. So why should I act like I'm more than a student to you."

Remus expression hardened, "What we did was wrong, (Y/N)."

"Oh I know. You made that very clear as well. Goodnight."

I turned and made my way to the staircase, "But it felt so right."

That confession made me stop dead in my tracks. I didn't want to admit it, but it felt so good hearing those words. "What?" I whispered as I slowly turned back to face Remus, who was standing metres away from me, still in the sitting area.

"It felt so right, (Y/N). I made the biggest mistake ever by abandoning you like that. I realised that soon enough after I made it, but I couldn't bare facing you after I'd hurt you like that. I hate myself for what I've done to you and I don't know what to do."

In the meantime Remus had made his way over to me, he was now standing directly in front of me. "I-" I started, but I couldn't form any words.

I was speechless. His words meant so much to me, but I didn't want to admit it so easily.

"What can I do that will make you forgive me?"

I looked away from him, but my eyes were soon enough met with his again as he moved his hand on my cheek to turn my head. "Tell me, I'll do anything."

His hand on my face. It made me go crazy. I missed his touch so much and I couldn't help but complete melting in it. His thumb stroke my cheek and I could feel the tears streaming down again. Remus kept swiping them away with his thumb.

"You're a fool." I eventually spoke up softly.

He nodded, "I know, believe me."

"But so am I."

His face changed into confusion, "What do you mea-"

I cut him off by pressing my lips agains his, feelings his thin moustache against my upper lip. Remus was shocked at first, but let all his worries go in an instant and we both melted into the kiss.

The kiss was filled with love and passion and lost time.

After minutes of heaven, we parted in the need of air and explanations.

"Am I forgiven, then?"

"I don't know."

"But why did you kiss me, then?"

I smiled softly at him, "Because I love you and I've missed you and I can't live without you."

Remus face was now filled with hope and love, "I love you so much (Y/N). Believe me, I'll never make a mistake like that again."

I scoffed, "You better not, otherwise it won't be so easy to get me back."

We laughed and Remus embraced me. God I've missed his warm hugs. And his smell, jeez his smell is so perfect.

We just stayed in each others arms for a while, enjoying the fact that it was sorted and there was no hatred between us.

I felt so much more at ease with him at my side.

"You do need to shave, though. It tickles." I state, trying to sound as serious as possible.

Remus starts laughing and nudges me playfully, "I see you haven't changed your mind about that."

We laugh it off and decide it's time for bed. Remus walks me up to my room, since he would stay in another room. "Stay?" I ask before he turns to leave my room.

"You sure?" he softly asks, "I mean, I want to, but we haven't seen each other for so long and I don't want to interfere.."

I chuckle, "I'm asking you to stay, am I not?

"That's true." He chuckles with me.

He leaves to change into his sleeping attire and comes back a couple of minutes later, joining me in my bed.

He cuddles me from behind and we end up spooning. "You know, this is the first time we're sharing a bed." Remus states.

I hum in agreement. We never had the chance to do so while I was in Hogwarts, because of obvious reasons.

"I'm glad I got invited by Molly and Arthur. Otherwise I'd never be back with you."

"I'm glad you got invited as well." I admit, all the hatred completely faded.


	4. A Dursley - Draco Malfoy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Golden Trio Era

"It's not true! I refuse to believe we've created such a monster!" my mother screams through the tiny area, looking down at a letter she's holding in horror. A letter Harry also received earlier this week.

Harry suddenly jumps up from his position on the ground. "She's not a monster!"

I send him a small, fake, smile. Harry's always been more like family to me then my own parents and brother. In fact, he is my family, but it's just different.

The rest of the night is worse than ever. Harry and I are treated as horrible creatures. My parents, along with the poor excuse of a brother, eventually go upstairs, leaving Harry and me be.

"You can take the couch (Y/N), I'll be alright on the floor." Harry tells me as he gestures for my to lie down on the couch. But I shake my head, "No, it's your birthday tonight, I won't let you sleep on the ground."

I try to reason with him for a bit longer, but it's all hopeless and I eventually give in to sleeping on the couch.

I manage to get some sleep, and fortunately I wake up a couple of minutes before midnight. Harry and I count down the seconds until twelve o'clock.

"Happy birthday, Harry!" I whisper and give him a hug. Right at that moment, there's a loud bang at the door and it comes down with a loud thud on the floor.

Harry and I make sure to hide before the stranger that just took down the door can see us.

Soon, Harry and I come to know about the person, the hugeperson, called Hagrid. He takes us away from my parents and Harry and I share eye contact right after stepping outside, incredibly curious to find what's waiting for us at this school called 'Hogwarts'.

That's how it all started.

Now, three years later, I'm sitting and the Slytherin table in the Great Hall, waiting for dinner to arrive. I notice Harry and his friends walking in and I wave at him. He smiles, waving back, before heading to the Gryffindor table.

That's mostly our contact. Every now and then we get partnered up in some classes, but mostly we only greet each other from across the room.

The fact that I'm placed in Slytherin definitely has something to do with it. The fact that I'm in love with his enemy, Draco Malfoy, has even more to do with it.

Ron and Hermione became my friends as well, but I barely see them any more either, it's the same contact with them as with Harry.

"What are you staring at?" Draco asks, snapping me back to reality. I shrug, "Nothing, just thinking."

Draco doesn't know that I'm related to Harry and I'd like to keep it that way. He also doesn't know about my being a muggle-born and I definitely want to keep that from him too. Our friendship is good and I don't want to mess things up. I mean, I know it's horrible that I need to hide my family and my blood-status from him in order to be able to be friends with him, but I'm in love. And love makes people blind, they say.

"About what?" Draco pries as he sits down next to me. I let out a sigh, wondering when the food will appear. "Just- life, I guess?"

The hint that I don't want to talk about it doesn't really make it's way to Draco and he just wraps his arm around me. "You can tell me, you know? Maybe I can cheer you up."

I scoff and turn to face Draco, who's suddenly dangerously close. I feel my cheeks redden and I immediately look down again. "Stop it, Draco. People will start thinking your not so cold-hearted after all, with your arm around me and all.."

This is how I've survived at least a year of my crush on Draco. Every time he made physical contact, I just brought up his reputation. It always did the trick. Except for now. "I don't care. If I want to place my arm around your shoulders, I'll do it."

My body freezes at this, "And why would you want to have your arm around me?" I can't help but be curious. It's not that I don't like the contact, it's just that it makes me nervous. It makes me afraid that he'll catch up on my feelings for him.

Draco moves his head close to my ear and I can feel his breath on my skin, it's giving me goosebumps all over my body. "Because I like it."

I jump up from my seat and make a run for the exit of the Great Hall, leaving behind a startled Draco Malfoy. The hunger I had before completely died down and all I want is to be alone so I can get my thoughts straight.

"It doesn't make any sense." I whisper to myself as I sit next to my bed, leaning against the frame, head in my hands.

"What doesn't make any sense?" a very familiar voice speaks up and my face immediately snaps up to see him walking towards me. "How did you get in?"

Draco shakes his head and laughs softly, "That doesn't answer my question..."

The breath that leaves my mouth comes out shaky. Draco sits down next to me, moving his body so he's facing me completely. "What doesn't make any sense, (Y/N)?"

"You."

The moment the word leaves my mouth I regret it. Now I'm going to have to explain myself and I don't know if I'm ready for that. Well, I need to be ready now, 'cause Draco is giving me a confused look. I'm going to have to explain. Shit.

"Idon't make any sense? What- I don't understand...?"

I remove my gaze from his and look down at my hands, gathering everything I need to be honest with him. When I'm ready, my eyes meet his confused ones again. "I just don't understand. I don't understand why you always try to be physical with me. I didn't understand it before, when you used to move away from me once I brought your reputation up, but I'm even more confused of what you said earlier, about not caring. Why would you publicly show some kind of, I don't know, ...affection? to me?"

Draco lets out a breathy laugh. "Salazar, you catch up quickly. I never imagined you to see through the 'reputation-layer' and notice my affection."

"Draco, you're confusing me ever more right now!"

"I fancy you, (Y/N). That's why I always put my arm around your shoulders or whatever. I make physical contact with you because I like it. I like to be close to you. I always retreated when you told me down, because I thought you didn't like the attention. That was until Blaise mentioned how easily you get flustered around me.."

Oh Salazar, he knows. Fuck he knows. He found out. He found out about my crush on hi- wait? He fancies me? He WHAT?!

"You fancy me?"

He moves his body closer to mine and smiles at me, "Yes, I fancy you. And from what I've heard, you fancy me. So can I kiss you now?"

The words leaving his mouth leave me speechless. The smirk on his face is leaving me even more speechless. Due to my being unable to react, he takes charge and leans in. His lips meet my frozen ones.

Draco guides me down until I'm lying on the ground with him hovering above me. I snap back to reality and start moving my lips in sync with his. We kiss for a good couple of minutes before we part, both out of breath and equally shock to how good that felt.

"I guess I should thank Blaise for outing my secret." I tell Draco breathlessly and he laughs. He moves from above me to lie on my bed and I do the same, snuggling into his embrace when he opens his arms. "I guess you should."

The next couple of months were amazing with Draco by my side. Even though I earned some disapproving comments from Harry, Ron and Hermione, I was happier than ever.

It's a hot day today and Draco and I decided to go for a dive. As we're about to walk into the cold water, we hear some voices coming in our direction. Draco turns and scoffs, "Why do those three idiots always have to ruin the fun?"

I turn around and notice Draco's talking about my friends, even though he doesn't know they're my friends. "They're not that bad." I say quietly, earning a confused look from Draco. "I mean, in class, they're always kind of nice to me..."

Draco just scoffs one more time before heading in deeper. I follow him in and when I reach him he pulls me in for a hug, the trio completely forgotten.

I suddenly feel something pinching my sides and I squeal, yelling at Draco for him to stop, but he just keeps laughing. I must admit, it looks rather laughable; I'm plashing the water constantly, trying to get rid of Draco's hands on my sides.

Once he's done pestering me, he moves me closer to him, embracing me tightly. I rest my head in de crook of his neck and let out a sigh of content. "I love these moments with you, Dray."

The smile on his face is apparent as he whispers, "I know, I love you."

The moment doesn't last much longer though, 'cause soon Hermione calls out my name. "Hey (Y/N)!"

Draco pushes me back and gives me another confused look, "You actually know them?" I just shrug and follow him out of the water, sad that the happy moment was indeed ruined by the trio. Not intentionally, of course, but still..

"How are you? Feeling any better than yesterday?" Ron asks as he plops down at the edge of the lake. I grimace at how friendly they're behaving. I never told them that Draco didn't know about my situation. "Ehm, yes, fortunately."

"(Y/N) why are you talking to those pricks?" Draco asks from a distance. My eyes meet his and I can only feel myself going red, not knowing what to do.

That's when Hermione decides to speak up and make the situation even worse, "Because we're her friends, Malfoy."

Draco drops the towel he was drying his hair with instantly, giving me wide eyes. He turns to Hermione with an annoyed look on his face, "She'll never be friends with you, you filthy little mudblood."

The word hurts more than I ever expected words to hurt. I can see Hermione swallowing the tears away before Ron interrupts the silence, "You bloody bastard! Why would you say that? Especially with (Y/N) her? Are you fucking mad?"

All this time, Harry kept silent, but I can see he knows what's going on here. He's probably the only one who figured out I didn't tell Draco about my life outside of Hogwarts.

Draco turns to me, "What are they talking about babe?"

"I- ehm, I don-"

"You must know (Y/N) is a muggle-born too, don't you? And for her being friends with us, she's Harry's cousin, that's how we know her." Ron explains before walking back to the castle with an almost-crying Hermione. Harry notices the panic in my eyes and sends me a sympathetic smile before following Ron and Hermione.

I can feel Draco staring at me with wide eyes, but I'm too afraid to face him. "Is it true?" his voice is low.

When I don't react for a minute, Draco moves to stand in front of me and yells "Is it fucking true (Y/N)?!"

I wince at the sound of his voice, but nod nonetheless.

"God you're pathetic. You're just like them. Just like them fucking blood-traitors."

My heart breaks into a million pieces as I hear the words he's saying. Before I can say something, Draco is already making his way back to the castle, leaving me behind. Heartbroken and empty.

Only minutes ago he was telling me he loves me and now he's calling me a blood-traitor. I don't know what to think right now other than that my life just fell apart and there's nothing I can do about it.

A couple of days later, as I'm walking through the hallways, Harry walks up to me. "God (Y/N), you look horrible, are you alright?"

I let out a humorless laugh, "I feel exactly the same as to how I look; horrible."

"I'm guessing Draco wasn't too happy to find out about it all?"

I look up and notice Harry's concern in his eyes. "He ended our relationship right there and then. Well, not officially, but I figure him calling me 'pathetic' and a 'blood-traitor' is enough for me to realise he doesn't want anything to do with me. Besides that, he's been avoiding me ever since and when we do run into each other he makes sure to ignore my presence as if I don't exist..."

Harry halts suddenly and when I turn to look what he's doing he pulls me into a tight embrace. "I'm so sorry, (Y/N). If I'd known you were keeping it from him I would've done anything to keep it that way."

I can't help the tear that escapes my eye. "It's alright, I guess. It wasn't even your fault. It's no one's fault but mine, actually. I should've been honest with him from the beginning."

Harry pushes me back slightly to look into my eyes, "I know you don't want to hear this, but maybe it's better this way. He doesn't deserve you, (Y/N). He's just a prick who finds a blood-status more important than love."

I silently agree with Harry, even though I know I don't want to believe that Draco doesn't deserve me. I love him, what do you expect?

Behind our knowledge, someone is hiding around the corner of the hallway we're standing in. That someone is known as Draco Malfoy. When he hears Harry and me talking, something in him breaks. The sound of my broken voice breaks his heart. What have I done? a voice keeps repeating itself in his head.

Another week goes by and the heartache only increases every damn minute. I should've never gotten attached to someone I know to be all about blood-purity. But I did get attached and now I'm paying the price.

I'm just walking around in the castle. It's an hour till curfew and I had no idea how to pass the time, so I decided to go for a walk.

"(Y/N)?" his voice is small. The pang at my heart causes me to stop breathing for a second. Do I give in so easily?

No, I don't.

I keep walking, ignoring his voice, until he softly grabs my hand, keeping me from walking further. "Please."

When I turn around to face him, I only see the face of a broken boy. "What is it?" I spat quietly with a quivering voice.

"I need to talk to you about what I said and did. I made a mistake."

His words leave me speechless. Draco Malfoy, aplogising for his actions? No way that's something healthy.

"I made a big mistake by calling you pathetic and a blood-traitor. I just, I don't know, I wasn't expecting it. Why didn't you tell me? I mean, I probably would've reacted the same at first, I'll admit, but still... I mean, I'm sorry. I acted upon what I thought my father would say. I acted upon what I thought was best to keep my family happy. But I'm heartbroken for what I did and what I said to you. I love you, (Y/N). I don't want you to go, I don't want to see you move on with someone else. I want you, I need you, in my life. To hell with what my father thinks."

To say I was once again at loss for words was an understatement. Everything he just said doesn't make any sense. "Who are you and what have you done with Draco Malfoy? I don't need someone playing with my feelings.." I say quietly, staring at the figure in front of me.

Draco lets out a breathy laugh, "It's me (Y/N), I swear! And I know it's hard to believe, but you're important to me. You're more important to me than my father's opinion. I don't want to spend my life, fulfilling my father's wishes if it means I have to live without you and act like a total dick to you. I can't live without you."

Not needing any more confirmation, I throw myself at Draco, embracing him as he throws his arm around my form. My face is pressed against his chest and I can feel some tears leaving a wet spot on his shirt.

Draco calms me down, whispering sweet nothings into my ear while rubbing my back with his hand, the other softly pressing my head into his chest.

We stay like that for a while, just embracing each other, enjoying each others presence and cherishing our love for one another.

When I move my head back to look at him, he looks at me with wet eyes, "I love you, (Y/N). I'll never do something stupid like that again, never."

"I love you too, Dray."


	5. Confession - Young!Remus Lupin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Marauders Era

It had only been a couple of months since you started dating Remus Lupin. You were still getting to know each other, but every day the two of you seemed more and more into each other, nothing could separate you anymore, not even the dormitories. Every night you would sneak up to Remus' dormitory and stay the night there. The guys, Sirius, James and Peter, were used to it by now and acted like it was the most normal thing on the planet. The girls you shared your dormitory with were also used to the fact that you never slept in your own bed anymore.

"Do you really think I should tell her?" Remus asks James and Sirius while they are walking through the halls.

You and Peter aren't with the lot as you are tutoring him in multiple classes. Peter is never the smartest student and he could use some help. Since you are one of the top students in your year, you decided to tutor Peter and help him get better grades.

James and Sirius nod at Remus. "You've been dating for months now, I don't think she'll run away from you when you tell her, she's not that type of person." says James.

"'I don't think she'll run away from you', very reassuring Prongs." Remus says back, "But you're right, I guess. I'll tell her later on."

The day drags on and finally, after all of the classes are done, you meet up with the guys outside of the castle. "Hey boys!" you say when you see them walking to you.

"Hey Chip!" Sirius, James and Peter say at the same time. Why did your Patronus had to be a Chipmunk? The guys have you your nickname soon after they found out about it and they never stopped using it.

"Hey handsome," you tell Remus when he reaches you and you hug him carefully. He smiles, "Hey, you." he says and places a sweet kiss on your cheek.

"Ahww, look at that, such a cute couple the two of you make." Sirius mocks. Before Remus or you can say anything about his stupid-ass behavior, James speaks up and tells you they will leave you and Remus alone, to your surprise, usually the five of you hang out all together.

You giggle when James drags Sirius with him by his ear, Peter casually walking behind the two. "How was your day?" Remus asks. You tell him that class was alright and the tutoring sessions with Pete were getting better and better. Remus says his day was just as any other.

The two of you walk up to the lake and take a seat, your feet dangling in the cold water. "I need to tell you something, (Y/N)." Remus suddenly says, his face serious and nervous.

"Oh, alright. What is it?" you ask him, turning to the side to face him. He had never been like this; saying his behaviour scares you a bit is an understatement.

Remus takes his feet out of the water and stands up, pacing back and forth for a while. You stand up and reach for his hands to calm him down, "Rem, easy. What's up?"

He looks at you for a while before speaking up. "I need to tell you something, but I don't want to scare you away and you can't tell anyone else 'cause they only ones who know it are James, Sirius, Peter and Professor Dumbledore.."

You get more and more confused by every word he says. The fact that so few people know about what he's about to tell you must mean it's something really serious.

"Remus, you're scaring me, please just tell me what's going on." You say as you put your hand on his cheek and start stroking it lightly.

He melts into your touch and quietly whispers, "I'm a werewolf."

Your hand freezes instantly, memories from your brother's death come rushing back and before you know what you're doing, you're running away from your biggest fear: werewolves.

In the distance you can hear Remus screaming your name, but your numb for the outside world. The only thing running through your mind is something you never wanted to think about again.

You run op to the Gryffindor Tower, up to you dormitory and lock the door on the way in, not leaving the place for the rest of the afternoon, crying your eyes out.

It's almost time for dinner when there's a knock on the door of your dormitory, you reckon it's just one of the girls you share it with, so you don't move.

The very first time you and the girls stepped foot in the dormitory, you agreed on using a spell that could lock the door and get unlocked with only one password. Which means, if it's one of the girls, they would know the password and just get in.

But no one comes in and after a minute someone softly speaks up, "(Y/N), you in there?". You recognise the voice as James'. You and James developed a special friendship ever since you started dating Remus. Every time you needed someone to talk to, but not Remus, James was there for you and the other way around.

Slowly, you got ahold of your wand and unlocked the door quietly. James walked in and closed the door behind him with a sad look on his face. He makes his way over to you and sits on the side of your bed while you're lying in it, underneath your blanket.

"How are you?" he asks and you just shrug, not being able to form any words that could describe how you're feeling.

James nods and puts his hand on top of yours, "Will you tell me why you left Remus like that?"

It takes you a short amount of time to think of what to say. "I'm scared.", it comes out quietly and vulnerable.

"Of Remus?" James asks with his eyebrow raised and a confused expression on his face.

"Of werewolves." you explain.

James' mouth takes the shape of and 'o', but you can still notice he doesn't really get why you left his best friend behind like that.

So, you start explaining why: "I used to have a twin brother, Damien. We used to go everywhere together and do everything together; we were inseparable. When we turned 11, I got my Hogwarts letter, as did he, but he never stepped foot in the castle. He died, no he was killed, in the summer before we would start our first year."

Tears start streaming down your face and James softly wipes them away. It takes a minute before you continue with the story.

"We were running around in the small village we used to live in. It was surrounded by a big forest and without knowing where we were headed, we ran into it. We were running around and pretending to be dangerous animals, growling at each other, when we suddenly heard a real growl. We stopped dead in our tracks and when I turn to face Damien, I saw a beast standing behind him." you turn to finally look James in his eyes, "We never realised it was late at night, nor did we realise it was a full moon."

James' grip on your hand tightens as you continue, "I screamed for Damien to come to me, but it was too late. By the time he turned to see what the growl belonged to, the werewolf had cut my brothers throat open, blood streaming out of it, all over the place. The last thing I remember Damien telling me was 'Go (Y/N), I love you'."

The memory hurt too much to go on immediately, you burst out in crying and James helped you up, embracing you tightly. Your face was pushed against his chest, his shirt soaking wet by your tears.

You push yourself away from him, "I ran back home, crying harder than ever, when I reached the village again, people made their way over to me immediately, asking what was going on and where Damien was; no one ever saw one of us without the other. After the story was spread, people informed the Ministry of Magic and immediately a search was started and early the next morning Damien was found dead at the other end of the forest."

James comforts you the rest of the night, not bothering to make you come down to the Great Hall to eat something. He stays with you until you get very sleepy, all the crying exhausted you. "You should sleep, (Y/N)."

You nod, "What should I do, though? I messed up with Remus. I don't want him to think I see him as a monster, 'cause I don't! It's just- When he said 'werewolf' I immediately thought back to that night and that's why I lost it. I love Remus, I don't wanna lose him. If I haven't already lost him..." you mutter the last sentence under your breath, but James hears it anyways and gives you an apologetic look.

"Don't worry about it too much now, but just explain him. Tell him why you reacted like that, tell him you love him, tell him you shouldn't have run. Just make yourself clear. He loves you too, Chip, I know that."

James calling you 'Chip' brought a smile on your face for the first time in hours, "Thanks Prongs, for everything."

He brushes it off and leaves to go to his own dorm. As soon as he's left the room, you realise how tired you actually are and fall asleep as soon as your head hits the pillow.

The next morning you wake up with an immense headache and when you come to your senses you remember the events of the previous day. You know you need to head out and eat something, but you're dreading to see Remus. The need to talk to him is very much present, but that doesn't make you less nervous or cared for the outcome. What if he's completely done with you? What if he doesn't want to see you ever again? What if you broke him by running away after he just told you his biggest secret? What if.. What if.. What if..?

Building up enough courage, you get dressed in your weekend clothes, which means there's no need for a uniform and you can just where whatever you want, and you make your way down to the common room. It's pretty much empty already since breakfast started about 45 minutes ago. 

It didn't take you long to get to the Great Hall, but in your mind it took hours, every step in that direction making you more and more scared.

"Look who finally decided to show up." Lily comments when you take the seat next to her. Everyone's mostly done with their breakfast, the Great Hall isn't as packed as it usually is, but the one person you weren't ready to face yet is still placed in a seat on the long Gryffindor table.

You and Lily talk for a while, but your eyes, as well as your attention, aren't on Lily for a second. They're focused at Remus the whole time. Lily sees who you're looking at and notices the scared look on your face. "You should talk to him." she says softly, bringing your attention to her for once. "I don't know how, I messed up, Lily! I'm scared..." you say and almost let out a tear.

After a while Lily finally manages to get some sense into you and as she leaves to head outside, you get up as well, making your way over to the Marauders. When you reach them James gives you a sympathetic smile. Remus is turned with his back to you and doesn't flinch.

"Remus, can we please talk?" you say quietly, almost afraid you'd break him even more if you speak loudly.

Remus ignores you and you notice that Sirius nudges his side, but he still doesn't flinch.

"Please, Rem. I need to talk to you."

It was only now that he moved. He got up very quickly and you could see the anger on his face. "What do you want? You made it pretty clear that you don't want to be near me anymore, so just leave (Y/N). I don't want to see you." he spits at you.

Your eyes fill with tears and you start walking away from him, again.

"Yeah, just walk away. You seem to be good at that, aren't you?" Remus yells at you and you stop walking in an instant. You think of what to do, but nothing that comes up seems to be a good idea, so you decide to walk further and let the tears stream down.

"You should've let her explain, Remus. That was an asshole move." you hear James say to Remus and after that you hear someone scoff. That's the last thing you hear, 'cause by now you're already out of the Great Hall and running outside. Running to your spot, it's a spot at the end of the forbidden forest, near the lake. It's where you always go when you need some time alone.

It took several hours before someone came looking for you. It was James who found you, sitting at the edge of the lake with a tear-stained face, throwing rocks in the water.

"I figured you'd be here. Are you alright?" he asked while sitting down next to you. You shake your head. "I really messed up this time. I guess I should try to move on."

You look up to James and see a very surprised expression on his face, mixed with another expression that seems... panicked?

"No! Don't let it go so easily, (Y/N)! You should at least get the chance to tell him the story. He needs to know."

Your gaze moves from his face back to the water, "Why don't you just tell him, then? You know the story and he still listens to you."

But James shakes his head, "He needs to hear it from you."

"But he doesn't want to talk to me, James. He doesn't even want to see me, it's over, don't you see that?" you snap at him and James immediately looks down. "You just hurt him pretty bad, he doesn't want things to be over between you."

"I know I hurt him James! God, how many times have I got to be reminded of that? I know I hurt him and I hate myself for it. I hate myself for the fact that I ran away when he expected me to stay. I didn't want to run, alright? I wanted to stay, I wanted to say everything was OK, I wanted to tell him he isn't a monster in my eyes, I wanted to say so many things, but I couldn't and you know why. I still want to say those things, 'cause it's still true, but if he doesn't want to see me then I should grant his wishes, it's the least I can do after doing what I did to him." you yell at James, tears threatening to spill once again.

"If that's what you think.. I'm gonna go back to the common room now, bye Chip." James says in a sad voice. You want to tell him you're sorry, but nothing comes out. Everything you just said was true and he needed to hear it. You won't follow Remus around like a maniac if he doesn't want to see you, even if it means you never get to see him ever again.

Not even a minute after James left you hear something ruffling behind you, but ignore it and keep you gaze on the water. When you feel someone sitting down next to you, you finally look up and you're met with Remus.

"Remus?" you say, very surprised he's sat down next to you. He notices your tearstained face and his heart sinks immediately.

"I'm not a monster to you?" he whispers and that's when you realise he's probably been standing there for more than just a minute.

You turn to face him properly, "Of course you aren't Remus! I was a fool to run away like that, I never meant to do it! Please, believe me when I tell you that I love you more than anything and please don't let me run away again. I know I messed up, but please let me explain why I did what I did. You need to know why, because it's got nothing to do with you!" you ramble and in the mean time Remus has put his hands on top of yours.

"Calm down, (Y/N). But yeah, I think I could use an explanation of why you ran away. It just hurt, you know? I was scared as hell to tell you and the boys kept telling me you wouldn't run, but that's exactly what you did, that's why I reacted the way I did this morning. But you're right, you should explain." Remus says, but he isn't angry, he just really wants to know why you ran.

So you tell him, the whole story of Damien. It hurts talking about it and he notices, so he comforts you by brushing his thumb against the back of your hand. At the end of the story he is dead quiet, processing all the words. "I'm so sorry, (Y/N)."

You look down for the first time since he's come, "No, I'm sorry. I should've told you." you whisper.

Remus pulls you close to him, "I guess we both could've reacted differently." he chuckles softly. You push yourself away from him a bit and look him in the eyes. "I love you Remus, nothing could stop that. Not even you're furry little problem."

He bursts out in laughter at how you call his condition, "Furry little problem, eh?" he asks and you laugh with him.

When the laughter dies down he pulls you closer, his hands resting on your face. "I don't know what to do without you."

"Neither do I." you tell him and soon after his lips are placed onto yours. He kisses you like never before, a lot of frustration being vanished and a lot of hard feelings being replaced by love, like it always used to be.


	6. I don't remember - Young!Remus Lupin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Marauders Era
> 
> Mentions of smut

"And- Yes! James Potter has the snitch! Gryffindor wins the House Cup!" Alan Jordan screams into the microphone as the crowd goes nuts. Every house, except for Slytherin of course, cheers and claps.

It only takes me minutes to get down on the pitch to congratulate James, Sirius and the rest of the team on their win. It's a mess on the pitch with almost the whole of Gryffindor wanting to congratulate everyone.

"Let me help you." a voice comes from behind me and as I turn I am faced with Remus. He smiles down at me, him being about a foot taller than me, and he walks before me. He starts pushing people to the side and I follow him, soon reaching our friends.

"There you are!" Sirius exclaims when he sees us. I chuckle and hug him tightly. "Congratulations guys! You were awesome out there."

I move on to James and hug him as well, "Nice catch, Prongs." I wink at him and he nudges me playfully, "Thanks dear."

Throughout the years I've spent at Hogwarts I've become good friends with the boys, also known as the Marauders. I first got to know Sirius, us being in the same situation; I was also placed in Gryffindor while everyone else in my family was placed into Slytherin. Fortunately, my parents haven't been cold-hearted ever since, but they were having some trouble with it at first.

Sirius introduced me to the other boys not soon after the start of our first year and we've been inseparable ever since. I've always seen the boys as my brothers, except for Remus. I started developing a different feeling towards him at the end of last year. Every time I see him, my feelings for him grow.

The only one who knows I fancy Remus is Sirius, he's the only one I trust enough to tell something like that. Sirius always knows everything about me and the same goes for the other way around. I've got a lot of girl throwing deadly glares at me, because of my relationship with Sirius. Yes, we're close, but it's nothing more. Sirius is really just my very best friend. He's always there when I need someone.

"Let's go back to the castle to celebrate!" Sirius yells and everyone starts screaming and cheering again. I chuckle and shake my head, causing Sirius to laugh at me, "What?"

"You're an idiot, Pads." I laugh and we all start walking back to the castle.

Not much later the party is in full swing; music playing loudly through the common room, people dancing everywhere, bottles of firewhiskey and butterbeer all over the place. In other words: it is a big happy mess in the Gryffindor common room.

"Hey Pads, try not to break any hearts tonight, right?" I tell him while walking past him as he's trying to snog multiple girls at the same time. He gestures his hand for me to let him be and I laugh to myself, leaving him behind.

As I walk to the other side of the room, I spot Remus sitting all alone. "Hey Moony." I say shyly when I reach him. His head snaps up and he smirks at me; something that tells me he isn't sober anymore.

"There you are," Remus says when I take the seat next to him. I feel myself go red when he scoots closer. "I've been meaning to look for you, just couldn't really find the energy to get up." he says lazily; yup, he's definitely drunk, drunker than I've ever seen him.

I don't dare look at him since I know I must look like a tomato, "Oh, uh- why did you want to look f-for me, then?"

"Because I like your presence, (Y/N)." he states while resting his head on my shoulder. He's completely sunk into the couch. I chuckle nervously, he has absolutely no idea what he's doing to me right now.

I feel him move his head up, but I still don't dare look up at him. Suddenly, I feel his lips brush softly against the skin on my neck, giving me goosebumps all over my body. "Moony?" I ask, but I don't get an answer. I try to move away from him, but as soon as I do so his arm finds it's way around my body and he has me pinned against the couch.

"Moony-" I say and this time he moves his head back, causing me to release a breath I didn't know I was holding. "Ssshh." he says quietly before attacking the skin on my jawline. I tense up again and I can't help but feel uneasy. Yes, having Remus kiss me is some kind of dream, but not like this, not when he's drunk off his ass.

"Remus." I say quietly, preventing a moan from escaping my lips as he's pressing himself against me. I get no answer. "Remus!" I semi-scream and I finally get his attention and he moves a bit back, "What, you don't like it?" he asks, a playful grin playing on his lips.

"It's not- it's not that." I stutter, "b-but you're- you're drunk, Remus." I tell him, but he ignores me.

"So, you like it." he says, more to himself than to me, and places his lips on mine. I really, really want to move myself away from him, but since this is something I've wanted for so long, I can't get myself to push him away and I completely melt under his touch.

It takes a while before we are both in the need of air, Remus backs away slightly and rest his head in the crook of my neck. "Let's go up to my dorm." he says in a whisper. I'm not sure if I just heard him right, so I ask him, "What?", very confused and nervous.

Remus brings his mouth back to mine and places a sloppy, open-mouthed kiss, "Come," he says before taking my hand and dragging me up the stairs to his dorm. While walking through the crowd of people to get to the stairs we cross Sirius and he gives me a knowing look. I feel myself going red, but am still very confused about what's going on.

When did Remus get so... sexual? As far as I'm concerned he's never really had a girlfriend and he's never been one to just get it on with some random girl on a party. Not that I'm random, I've known him for years, but still.. He's never been like this, especially not to me. I know I should be happy about it all, but the thing is: he's drunk, maybe he doesn't even know what he's doing or who he's doing it with.

"Remus, what are you doing?" I nervously ask him when we enter his dorm. It's completely abandoned; Sirius is downstairs dancing and snogging girls, Peter is downstairs finally talking to the girl he's fancied for ages and James, well we all know what James is doing downstairs; James is trying to convince Lily to go on a date with him..

Remus smirks at me and pulls me on top of him ones we've reached his bed, "Come here." He practically grunts. His every move catches me off guard and I think to myself: Who am I with right now and what's he done with Moony?

My thoughts are soon gone when I feel Remus' lips against mine once again. This time it gets much more heated and I feel myself completely losing it. I decide that Remus must know what he's doing and I let my concerns fade; I've waited so long for this moment, I'm not gonna stop myself now.

Remus puts his arms around me, his hands on my back and they start roaming over my body. Soon, there isn't a spot left he hasn't touched. His hands move from my back to my sides and he slides them subtly under my shirt. My breath hitches when he reaches for my bra to unclasp it. He swiftly unclasps it, but only then he realises I'm still wearing my shirt. He reaches his hands down to the hem of my shirt and in no-time my shirt is somewhere on the ground of his dorm. My bra is soon to follow and I'm bare-chested sitting on his lap. Remus eyes me curiously and with adoration. When I meet his gaze I go red again. He attacks my lips and when he asks for entrance, I gracefully grant him passage. His hands are all over my body: first on my back, then my sides and soon after they land on my chest, making their way up to my breast. He slowly strokes each one of them and swiftly plays with my nipples.

I lose myself and my hands quickly move to the hem of his shirt, which he gladly allows me to take off. As soon as his shirt is removed, he moves me over so he's on top of me. The rest of our clothing are soon removed and before I even know what's actually happening, he's moved himself inside me and I scream out his name.

When I wake up the next morning I feel something, or rather someone stirring beside me. I move my head up to see the sleeping figure of Remus and immediately images of last night run through my mind. I blush deeply and softly place my head back on his chest, enjoying the fact that I'm so close to him.

I come to think of an idea while I'm playing with the sheets Remus and I are tangled in. I head out of bed, careful not to wake Remus, and quickly reach for my clothes to put them on. I look around and notice Remus and I are still the only ones in the dorm, the other guys must've slept in someone else's dorm, much like I did tonight, or either fell asleep somewhere in the common room.

I go to my own dorm, quickly take a shower and put on some new clothes. When I'm dressed, I walk to the Great Hall and gather some food for a decent breakfast; I decided it'd be nice to bring Remus some breakfast after an amazing night like the one we had.

But, when I'm almost done gathering breakfast, I see Remus and the other boys, along with Lily, Marlene and Sarah (Peter's crush), making their way into the Great Hall.

I sigh to myself, sad that my plan is crushed, but head over to them quickly. "Morning (Y/N)." James says, "You look happy.." he states with a tired voice; he's probably pretty hungover.

"Oh nothing." I say, shrugging him off, but when I meet Sirius' eyes, he gives me, once again, a knowing look and moves his eyes to the seat next to Remus, which is still free. I glare at him, but take the seat next to Remus nonetheless.

"Morning Remus." I say happily as I scoot a bit closer to him. His reaction is one I didn't expect: he scoots a bit away and gives me a weird look, "Morning,". His voice sounds tired and confused.

I feel my heart clench. 'Maybe he thinks of it as a mistake.' I think to myself and I look down at the plate in front of me. "I- I gotta go." I say quietly. I stand up and walk out of the Great Hall, outside of the castle and onto the Grounds.

I make my way over to my tree, as I like to call it, since I'm the only one who ever sits underneath it. I don't understand why no one every goes here; the view is beautiful and it's always so peaceful.

"What was that about?" Sirius asks Remus in a quiet voice when they get up from their seats in the Great Hall.

Remus turns to Sirius and gives him a confused look, "What are you talking about, Pads?"

Sirius rolls his eyes, "(Y/N), of course!" he says frustrated, "Why did you act so cold towards her?" 

But, once again, Remus gives him a confused look, "I have honestly no idea what you're talking about, mate."

So, Sirius gives up and leaves Remus walking by himself, trying to think of what Sirius could've been talking about.

"I knew you'd be here!" Sirius exclaims when he sees me sitting underneath the tree. I snap out of my daydream and smile at him, "Hey Pads."

We all sit there for a while and we're all having a good time with each other, but I just can't help but think of why Remus would act as if nothing happened last night. So, when everyone decides to head back inside, I ask Remus to stay behind for a bit.

"What's up?" he asks clueless and my heart sinks.

I look at him with a sad look, "Why are you acting like this?" I ask and the confusion grows on his face. He looks away for a second, as if he's looking for a clue, "What are you talking about? Acting like what?"

I sigh frustrated, "Why are you acting like nothing happened, Remus?" I snap, tears forming in my eyes. I move my gaze away from his, not wanting him to see me crying over such thing.

But he does and when he does, his actions catch me off guard. He steps closer and places a hand on my arm, "(Y/N), what's wrong? Why are you crying?" he asks concerned, but his behaviour just makes me even more angry.

"Don't act like you care about me after acting like a prick to me, Remus, it's not fair!" I yell at him, backing away from him, almost stumbling over the roots of the tree.

"What? (Y/N), please just tell me what you're talking about, 'cause I've got no idea! Pads as well.. he also said something like that after breakfast. What's gotten into you guys?" He asks exasperated.

I scoff, "What's gotten into us?! You're even more a fool than I thought you were." I say through gritted teeth and walk past him to go back to the castle, but he takes ahold of my wrist and turns me around fiercely. "Please enlighten me of what I'm doing wrong here, (Y/N)." Remus says, getting frustrated as well.

"We've slept together, Remus! That's what's happened! Last night you suddenly came at me and you wanted nothing more than to take me to your dorm with me and now you're acting as if nothing happened! How do you think that makes me feel, huh?! God I've been in love with you for Merlin knows how long and you're just treating me like shit. It's just as if I'm nothing to you!" I scream, tears streaming down my face. Once I'm done with my rant, I turn around and run back into the castle, up to my dorm.

"You- you love me?" Remus says to himself, once I'm away, before realising the other thing I told him, "We've slept together?!"

I reach the Gryffindor Tower in no-time and when I enter the common room I receive some confused looks from the boys and girls, except for Sirius, he gives me a sad and concerned look, "(Y/N)?" he says, but I ignore him and go straight to my dorm.

Not much later a knock is heard, "Go away!" I yell from my bed. I really don't want to see anyone right now, I just want to stay in bed all day and cry my eyes out. "Come on, (Y/N). Let me stay with you." Sirius says in a soft voice, but even Sirius can't make me feel better right now and I just want to be alone. "I need to be alone, Sirius." I say, I hear him sigh, but he leaves me alone anyways, knowing that if I need some time alone, he should let me have it.

Not much later after I thought Sirius left there is another knock. I sigh frustrated, "I told you to leave me alone, Pads!" I scream.

"It's me, (Y/N). Can we please talk?"

It is Remus. My head snaps up and I feel myself going pale. "Remus?" I say, my voice trembling.

"Please, I need to talk to you." he says, beggingly.

I don't know why, but I get up slowly and walk over to the door. When I open it I'm met with a guilty-looking Remus. "What do you want?" I ask harshly, not in the mood for another round of being played with.

Remus looks down and sighs, "Can I please come in? I think I've got some explaining to do.."

"Damn right you do." I scoff and move to the side to let him in.

Remus grabs a chair and places it in front of the end of my bed so we can sit across from each other. I sit on the edge of my bed and watch him expectantly. "So.." I say, a sign for him to start explaining himself.

"I'm so sorry." He says once he looks up and his eyes meet mine. I look him deeply in the eyes and stay silent for him to continue.

He runs his hands through his hair, he always does that when he's nervous. "Last night was the first time I had a bit too much to drink and now I see why I never take that much, it only leads to trouble." he says and I give him a pained look; was I really that bad?

He notices my expression and realises how it must've come across, "I didn't mean it like that!" he quickly adds, "I mean- I just.. I don't remember anything from last night. I can't remember me being all over you, I can't remember me dragging you upstairs to my dorm, I can't remember sleeping with you." he says in a low voice, guilt dripping from it. "The weird thing is: I also can't remember waking up next to you." he adds before finally meeting my gaze again.

"That's because I went to get you- us breakfast. But when I wanted to go back to you, you were already walking into the Great Hall." I explain and I can see how bad he feels about it all.

"I'm sorry, (Y/N). You really don't deserve this. I can't imagine what it must feel like and I hate myself for it. I would want to remember if those things happen, especially with you."

My eyes widen, "What?". It comes out as a whisper.

"I love you too, (Y/N). That's why I feel even worse about it all. I want to remember kissing you, I want to remember making love to you, I want to actually wake up next to you and have breakfast with you; I want you."

I look at him in disbelief. I never, ever in a million years, expected him to feel the same about me. "Y- you love me?" I ask, just for reassurance.

"I do, very much so." he chuckles and moves a bit closer. "So would you please let me make it up to you by taking you out tomorrow? It's a Hogsmeade weekend and I'd love to take you somewhere." He says while bringing his hand up to caress my cheek.

I'm speechless for a second and I can see his face dropping, but when I tell him "I'd love to go out with you, Remus!" his face completely lights up again, a huge smile spreading across his face.

I lean a bit closer to him and peck his lips softly as he brushes his thumb against my cheek, "I'd like nothing more than to go out with you, Remus." I smile against his lips and he chuckles.

"God I love you, (Y/N)."

"And I love you, Moony."


	7. A true friend - Young!Severus Snape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Marauders Era

"Hey Snivellus, still think you can get (Y/N) to like you?" James comments while walking through the corridor. I'm walking right behind the marauders and Severus just passes us. He doesn't say a thing, he just looks very sad. "Knock it off, Potter" I tell him and punch him on his arm, quite hard.

He hisses, but drops it and continues his walk through the corridor. I feel bad for Severus, he's actually very nice and I don't know why the boys always pick on him like they do. I always tell them to stop, but they don't seem to care. Severus never understood why I became friends with him, he thinks I'm too good and too popular, but I'm nothing like that. I think he deserves a friend as much as everyone else.

That afternoon I decide to see how Severus is doing, considering the fact that the marauders have pulled another prank on him, or so I've heard. I really don't understand why the keep doing it and I really hope they'd just stop. I've been friends with them for a long time now. I got to know them, 'cause Peter's my brother, we're twins.. No one actually believes we're twins though, we're nothing like each other and our looks also tell people differently, but it's true.

I like the boys, all of them, that's not it. I just think they should stop pulling pranks on Severus, they know it really gets to him, but they just keep on doing it.

When I reach the dungeons I notice a friend of Severus is just coming out of their common room. "Hey Dylan, do you know if Severus is inside?" I ask him. He nods and tells me he'll get him for me.

Even though I'm a Gryffindor and it's known for Slytherin's and Gryffindor's to hate each other's guts, I'm on good terms with them. They seem to respect the fact that I tell my brother and his friends down on the pranks, especially on the ones they put on Severus.

About five minutes later Dylan comes out, this time with Severus by his side. Severus doesn't look too happy. Dylan leaves us be and Severus and I start walking into a random corridor. We always walk around the castle, no purpose, just wandering around.

It takes me a good 20 minutes before I realise something's up with Severus' arm. I take ahold of it and he flinches. There's huge cut on his upper arm. "What the hell Sev! Who did this?" I ask him in disbelief.

He struggles to remove himself from my grip and doesn't say anything. Then it hits me. "It was my brother and the guys, wasn't it?" I ask and he doesn't say anything, he just looks at me with a pained expression.

I let out a growl of frustration and sigh, "God why do they have to be like that?! They need to know when to stop, come on Sev."

"What? Where are we going?" he asks in a panicked voice.

I turn back to him, "I'm gonna tell them to stop, obviously.. Look at what they've done, you're seriously injured, Sev. They need to know their limits. And you, why didn't you get it checked? It could've already be healed by now if you'd gone to madam Pomfrey."

He shrugs his shoulders and sighs, "I didn't want to seem weak.."

"That's bullshit, Sev. Don't let them get to you. Come, we're gonna look for them."

He grabs my arm and stops me, "Please don't, it'll only get worse (Y/N)!"

I ignore him and walk back to the Gryffindor tower, Severus keeps walking behind me with his head hung low, muttering something like 'just let it go, (Y/N).' or 'it won't work anyways.' every once in a while, but I ignore him and keep walking. This isn't funny anymore. The guys I see as my friends have hurt my other friend, they need to know when to stop and that's now. This was the last drop.

"Where the hell are they?" I say very loudly when I enter the common room, Severus decided to stay outside, not wanting to cause any trouble by entering our common room.

People look at me with confused expression, but when I spot Lily her expression tells me she knows exactly what and who I'm talking about.

I send her a glare and soon she points in a direction. She points to a big closet. I open the doors furiously and soon four boys stumble out of it. I take a step back and look at the lot on the ground. "There you are." I say through gritted teeth. One by one, there heads look up to see my furious face, all with nervous and sympathetic smiles.

"Get up." I say and they're up quicker than ever. They know not to mess with me, they also should've known not to mess with my friends, especially Severus. Everyone knows he's more than a friend to me, except for himself. He's either oblivious or he just doesn't want to see it 'cause he doesn't feel the same.

"(Y/N)-" Peter starts but I cut him off.

"How dare you guys still play pranks on him? When will you ever grow up?! You've hurt him, you know that? Hurt him badly! He's got a huge cut all over his upper arm and you were probably just laughing your sorry asses off. You're idiots and I don't even know why I'm still friends with you."

Sirius gives me a sad look, "You don't mean that, (Y/N)."

I send him a death glare, "But what if I do?"

They are all speechless, especially Remus. He seems to be actually feeling bad about it all. "He didn't even dare to go to madam Pomfrey 'cause he was scared he'd be weak. You know how much you're ruining his life? How would you feel if there is this group of popular guys who always play pranks on you, so bad that it actually gets you seriously injured. How would you feel if your time at Hogwarts was ruined by some bullies? Huh, how would you?"

"Bullies?" James whispers.

"Yes, bullies, James. That's what you are. You are bullying Severus. You're making his life miserable for your own pleasure. I'm done with you."

When I finish my sentence, I walk away from the boys, back to Severus. I take him up to the Hospital Wing to get him patched up and decide to stay with him for the rest of the night, I even sleep in his common room. The other Slytherin's don't mind it, they're used to me being in there with them.

The next day at breakfast I sit as far away from the guys as possible. Severus was sitting on his own table. I earn some glances from the guys, but don't pay any attention to them. When Peter walks up to me, probably to make things right, I stand up and leave the Great Hall, fortunately I was already done with breakfast.

After class Severus and I make our way into the library and start working on a potions essay. We're both very into it and very focused until someone decides to sit with us. Both of our heads snap up immediately and I notice Remus has taken the seat next to me.

Before I can say something he already speaks up. "I'm sorry."

It catches both me and Sev off guard and we remain silent.

Remus looks up, first at Sev and then at me. "I'm sorry Severus. I never intended on hurting you and it only got to me when (Y/N) gave us a furious speech yesterday. I should've known when to stop. I'm sorry about your arm and about making your life miserable here. As for you, (Y/N), I'm sorry I never listened to you. I should've listened when you told us to stop. I'm sorry."

His apology catches Sev and me even more off guard. It is Severus who breaks the silence, "It's alright, I guess. I appreciate you're apology."

Remus smiles slightly, "Well, I better get going now. See you around, (Y/N)." he tells me and he's gone as quickly as he appeared.

I give Severus a confused look, "Did he really just apologise?" I ask him and he nods with a grin on his face.

We both decide it's time for a break and head outside. "Thank you, (Y/N), for everything you've done for me these past years. I couldn't wish for a better friend; you're a true friend." Severus tells me as we're walking around the lake.

I sigh, "A true friend, yeah." I mutter under my breath.

When I look up Severus looks at me, "What's wrong?" I ask him.

He quickly looks away, "Nevermind. I thought you said something, but I must've misheard."

I grab his arm to stop him from walking further, "I need to tell you something, Sev."

He gives me a confused look and gestures for me to continue. The problem is, I have no idea what to say. How am I supposed to confess my feelings to him? I suck at love, though I'm pretty sure I'm in love with him. Why is he so oblivious to it? Why can't he just've noticed something? It would've been so much easier if he started this conversation.

"I- well.. What I want to say is.." I can't seem to find the words.

"Just spit it out, (Y/N)." he says as he takes ahold of my hands. I look down at our hands and think of whether I should tell him or not.

"Do you love me?"

It comes out as a whisper and I can't bring myself to look him in the eye. He let's out a chuckle, "Of course I do, silly. You're my best friend!"

I feel a pang in my heart and slowly look up to meet his gaze. Sadness is written across my face and when Severus meets my gaze his expression changes from happy to confused. "That's not what I meant, Severus..." I tell him and the penny dropped.

He takes a step closer and while doing that he brings one hand to rest on the side of my face, "Why are you asking?" he asks teasingly and he catches me off guard with his actions. He's usually never this physical and he never teases me about anything.

"I just- I guess you already know why.." I say and melt into his touch.

"I've got a hunch." is the last thing he says before leaning in and brushing his lips against mine.

I'm once again caught off guard by his actions, but I don't stop him. Severus isn't known to kiss anyone randomly. I even wonder if he's ever kissed someone before. So this kiss must mean something to him as well. He must feel the same about me, at least I hope so.

I press myself against him and my hands get lost in his hair, completely messing up his black locks. His hands are roaming my body and our tongues are battling in our mouths. It's something I've never experienced before and it's something I definitely want to experience more often.

After what feels like hours, we break apart and he rests his forehead against mine. We're both catching our breaths, trying to regain a normal breathing, until we both burst out in laughter.

I almost stumble over a rock and fall into lake, but Severus is soon to catch me and pulls me close against him, once again we burst out in laughter.

It takes us a couple of minutes to calm down. When we do, we look each other straight in the eyes. "I'm in love with you, Sev. So madly in love with you."

He smiles brightly at me, "I seem to be madly in love with you as well.. Can you believe our luck?"

I playfully nudge him but lose myself completely in his embrace, "Let's head back inside, it's getting cold."

"Lead the way, love."


	8. Only for you - Young!Severus Snape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Marauders Era
> 
> Young!Severus Snape/Male!reader

"I'm gay, Sev."

I said it. Ever since last year I have been keeping it to myself. It was the moment I saw Severus making a move on some girl in our house, Slytherin, when I realised I saw him as more than a friend.

The reason why I kept it to myself for so long is because I was, and still am, scared of losing him. I have never heard Severus talking about homosexual people, so I have honestly no idea what he thinks about it.

Severus looks at me, eyes slightly wider than usual, but doesn't say anything for a while. It isn't until I let out a defeated sigh that he pulls me softly into his embrace. "Thank you for telling me." he whispers with a soft voice in my ear.

I pull back and look him directly into his eyes, "So, you're ok with it? You don't hate me now?"

Confusion enters Severus' face before a smile takes over and he starts chuckling, "Of course not, (Y/N). Why would I hate you for being gay? You're still you, aren't you?" he smiles.

A smile now enters my face as well and I throw myself at Severus, "Thank you, Sev, really."

The next couple of weeks are better then ever, since I'm finally able to be myself around Sev. There's only one thing that's slowly eating me up: the fact that I'm madly in love with Severus and he hasn't got a clue.

I want to tell him, really, but once again I'm too scared of losing him as a friend.

Severus is, along with my other best friend Jenna, the only one who knows about my so called 'secret'. It's not that I'm ashamed of it, 'cause why the hell would I? But it's really because I've heard some people making remarks about it and it's safe to say that I am not in for that.

Not too long ago Lucius Malfoy made an awful remark about Remus Lupin and Sirius Black, who both have come out as a couple recently.

"What about him?" Severus asks while pointing at a boy sitting at the Ravenclaw table. Every meal is always pleasant until Severus brings up boys. Of course, it's not his fault, he doesn't know about my massive crush on him, but it still hurts a bit.

"He's cute, (Y/N)!" Jenna comments after having taken a look. Jenna is the third musketeer of our small group of friends. It's always been us three. Lily used to be our friend too, but our friendship died a bit when she got sorted into Gryffindor. Not that I'm against Gryffindor! It's just that she made new friends and we had different schedules and well, life happened..

"Not my type." I simply say while playing with the pork on my plate. They both seem to get the message that I'm not in for a conversation like that and drop the subject.

It doesn't last long though, the 'dropping the subject'. "How come you're never interested in any of the guys we tell you about? Are you really gay?" Jenna says and anger starts rising in my body.

I smash my knife and fork down on the table and jump up from my seat before saying "Of course I am, why would I lie about such thing?!"

Never had I left the Great Hall more quickly before. I was out of there in no-time, earning some looks from people, but I didn't care.

As soon as I reach the dungeons I walk over to my dorm, throw off my clothes and jump into the bathroom to take a hot, steamy shower.

After what feels like hours someone taps on the bathroom door, "Who is it?" I ask as I turn off the water.

"It's me, can I come in?" I recognise the voice as Jenna's and quickly put a towel around my waist before telling her it's alright to come in.

"You know, you keep surprising me every time you're in this dorm." I state as I take a seat on the toilet-lid.

Jenna chuckles, "I have my ways." She grabs a stool and puts it across from me before sitting down. "Now, will you tell me what that was all about?" she asks and I let out a sigh.

"I just-" I start, not knowing how to explain it, "I just don't feel comfortable with you two, especially Sev, bringing up boys."

It is this moment I decide I will just tell her about my crush on our friend. I need to get it off my chest and Jenna is the only one I trust enough to tell.

"And why is it that you're uncomfortable with it? Especially with Sev?" she asks with confusion and concern visible on her features.

"Because I'm in love with him. I'm in love with Severus, Jen."

Her eyes go wide and her mouth forms the shape of an 'o' before she quickly regains composure. Before she can say anything, though, a loud thud is heard from the outside the bathroom and I quickly stand up to be faced with an evil-looking Lucius Malfoy.

"Malfoy?" I say, my voice trembling and tears threatening to spill.

He just simply smirks at me with evil eyes and leaves the dorm.

The rest of the night is spent with me crying my eyes out and Jenna trying to convince me that Malfoy didn't hear a word of our conversation in the bathroom.

When Severus finally returns from his tutoring I have managed to regain myself as much as possible so that he wouldn't notice the fact that I've just cried for a good two hours straight.

"Hey," Severus says when he walks up to my bed on which Jen and I are sitting.

Jenna gets up and tells us it's time for her to go back to her own dormitory and says goodbye.

"You alright?" Sev finally asks when Jenna's gone. I nod at him. "I'm gonna sleep, though. It's been a long day."

"Yeah, me too. Night Sev."

"Night (Y/N)."

The next morning I wake up with an immense headache from all the crying I did the night before. "Morning." I hear a rough and sleepy voice from the bed nextx to mine saying.

I smile, "Morning Severus."

When I look around I notice the rest of our dorm-mates, including Malfoy, are already gone to breakfast. "Let's get up and have some breakfast, yeah?" I say before getting out of my bed and earn a muffled groan from Sev, who's face is completely pressed into his pillow.

A good half hour later, Sev and I finally make our way into the Great Hall, conversing quietly. That is, until we realise all the eyes that immediately move to us when we step into the Great Hall.

"What are they all on about?" I ask Sev as my eyes move over the tables. When I look up at Severus, I notice he's staring at the Slytherin table. At Lucius Malfoy. At something above him in particular.

My eyes move over to where Severus is looking and when I realise what he's looking at, my stomach drops.

I turn on my heels and run out of the Great Hall, out of the castle and run to my spot near the black lake at the edge of the Forbidden Forest as fast as I can.

So he did hear the conversation. Lucius Malfoy heard me telling Jenna about my crush on Severus Snape and now he thought it was funny to let the whole damn school know about it, 'cause why not? It's not as if he'll be hurt by the consequences.

"(Y/N)?" a quiet voice calls out and snaps me out of my trance.

Severus is standing a few feet away from me. As soon as he notices the tears streaming down my face he sits down next to me and pulls me into his tight embrace, running his hand up and down my back and whispering sweet, soothing, words into my ears.

When he pulls back I don't look up immediately, scared of what will come. "Hey, look at me." Sev says softly before placing his finger under my chin to move my head up so I have to face him. "Is it true? Is it true what Malfoy said?" he asks.

I don't say anything and just look at him, more tears forming in my eyes.

"Are you really in love with me? Is that the reason why you got so ma yesterday? Is that the reason why you are never interested in a guy Jen or I tell you about?"

At this moment there's no use in lying, so I just nod, not being able to form words.

A cheeky smile enters Sev's face, "Well then, will you allow me to do something I've never done before?" he asks and I give him a confused look, but nod nonetheless.

Severus leans in a bit, keeping my head steady with his finger still under my chin. He moves his hand from under my chin to my cheek and slowly caresses it with his thumb. Before I can even process what is happening and what's about to happen, Severus brushes his lips against mine in a delicate way.

He soon pushes his lips completely against mine and I lose myself under his touch completely. His lips move against mine with passion and he's soon to slide his tongue against my lips, asking for entrance, which I immediately grant him. Our tongues dance together and it's the best feeling in this whole damned world.

After what feels like eternity, Severus pulls away, leaning his forehead against mine as we both regain our breaths.

"I didn't know you were gay." I say breathlessly as I look into his eyes once more.

He smiles at me and caresses my cheek once more, "Only for you. I love you, (Y/N)."


	9. Flirting - Young!Sirius Black

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Marauders Era

"Morning everyone." I say quietly as I sit down next to Lily in the Great Hall. I earn a couple of 'hey's' and 'morning's' from everyone, except for one person. The person I would've liked to earn something from the most. Sirius Orion Back. I always told yourself not to fall for his charm, but I did anyway, and I did it hard.

Peter, my cousin, warned me multiple times. God, he warned me every single time I was to hang out with the marauders and the girls. But still, it didn't keep me from falling in love with the school's playboy.

Just as I'm about to put something on my plate, someone sits down next to me, a bit too close. "Morning, (Y/N)." the person whispers into my ear and I immediately freeze, knowing very well who that voice belongs to. I hadn't even noticed him standing up.

"Oh, ehm- morning S-Sirius." I say softly, feeling myself going red. I never seem to be able to function properly when I'm around Sirius. ESPECIALLY when he's so close to me.

I move a bit, only to see the huge smirk on Sirius' face. "Getting all flustered now? Ahw look Pete, I'm getting (Y/N) flustered! She's blushing!" Sirius comments and if there would be a hole appearing underneath me to suck me out of this world, I wouldn't even mind.

"Shove off, Pads." Peter comments and throws a slice of bread against Sirius' head.

"Hey!"

Everyone bursts into laughter. Fortunately for me, all the attention isn't on me anymore. It's now on a food-fight between Peter and Sirius.

I use the opportunity to leave the table, without anyone's knowledge, having had enough for breakfast.

The walk to the transfiguration class is quiet, just as I like it. No one to interrupt my thoughts about one Sirius Black.

What he did this morning was something new. I've always seen him flirt with girls, but he's never flirted with me before. Seeing him flirt with all those girls always hurt me, but him flirting with me doesn't exactly feel any better. He doesn't like me like that, he doesn't feel the same. He just likes flirting and getting people all flustered. I keep telling myself. But there's also this other voice in my head which keeps saying maybe he likes me like that, it can be possible, right? Maybe he's finally stopped being the playboy.

"Sirius, not a playboy? Pfff, never." I mumble to myself as I enter the classroom.

I look up and notice I'm the first one to arrive, "Good morning professor." I tell professor McGonagall. She smiles at me, "Good morning miss (L/N)."

The rest of the class comes in about ten minutes after my arrival. I always sit alone in this class, completely in the front. So saying I'm startled when someone sits down at the desk next to me is an understatement.

I look to my side and notice Sirius Black just sat down next to me. He sends me a smirk as I notice his presence, "Been waiting for me, haven't you?" he asks and I immediately snap my gaze away from his, ignoring the question. Merlin, could this day get any worse?

Class goes by terribly slow, Sirius flirting with me the whole damn time.

At the end of the day, I'm exhausted. Physically exhausted 'cause of all the writing and reading I did, and emotionally because of trying to maintain myself in front of Sirius. It hasn't even been a full day and I'm already at the point of breaking down.

He probably doesn't even know, but his flirting is breaking me. He's just using me for his own pleasure and the fact that I've got genuine feelings for him breaks me. The fact that he won't ever see me like that breaks me.

"Hey gorgeous," a voice speaks from behind me. I roll my eyes, trying to cover the fact that tears are actually forming in them. "Hey Sirius." I say as casual as possible, not wanting to show him how much his flirting actually effects me.

"Where you heading to?" he says with a playful tone, knowing very well where I'm heading to.

I give him a look that says 'really?' and roll my eyes once again. "You already know that. Don't ask stupid questions." I say, a tad harsher than intended.

"Woah woah, no need to be so harsh. I was just making small talk." He says, acting as if he's very hurt by my actions, but the smirk never really leaving his face.

"Sure, sorry." I mumble.

The rest of the way to the Great Hall is similar to that. Sirius flirting here and there, pretending to be very offended when I don't react too happy, or even a bit harsh. You could say I'm happy when we finally reach the Great Hall.

I quickly sit down in between Lily and Alice, so that Sirius can't sit next to me. Any more of his flirting and I'll snap.

During the whole dinner, Sirius keeps throwing glances at me, his face genuine and not with a smirk written all over it, but that changes immediately when I catch him. That's when his smirk comes back and he makes another flirtatious remark.

The whole group and I walk back to the common room. Sirius seems to find me once again. I should've started a conversation with someone to prevent this from happening! But it's too late now.

"How was dinner, princess?" he asks while throwing his arm around me. I tense up immediately, but ditch the urge to remove his arm from me in order to prevent suspicion.

I shrug, still tense, "Alright."

Lily turns around for a sec and her eyes widen at the physical contact between Sirius and me. She sends me an apologetic smile when she sees my face. Lils is the only one who knows about my being in love with the guy and she must've figured out how I feel about him acting like the way he does to me.

Fortunately, we reach the common room quickly and after letting out a quick 'good night' I make my way up to my dormitory. Sirius is about to say something else, but I'm too quick for him this time.

Only about 15 minutes later Lily comes in and let's out a sigh when she sees me sitting on my bed, head resting on my knees, arms wrapped around my legs, face covered in tears.

She makes her way over to me and wraps me in her arms, "Why do I have to be his new playtoy, Lils? Why can't it be someone who doesn't get affected by it?"

Lily rubs my back softly, "I honestly don't know, (Y/N). Do you want me to tell him to quit it?" she asks.

I immediately shake my head, "No! No, really, don't. He'll know something's up. I don't want him to know about my feelings for him."

"Alright, don't worry. I won't tell him. Just make sure it doesn't eat you up. Come to me when something's wrong. I'm here for you." she says and I nod. She leaves my bed to get ready for bed herself. I lie down underneath the covers and slowly drift off into sleep.

The next week goes quite similar to that day. Sirius keeps flirting with me and I keep having breakdowns at the end of the day. Today isn't any different.

"Don't walk away from me, (Y/N)! Baby, I need you in my life, don't go!" Sirius mocks when I leave the group to go to the restroom. I roll my eyes, feeling the urge to cry once more.

When I get back everyone's already seated. The only seat available is, of course, next to Sirius. I walk towards the seat with loads of unwillingness.

"Ah, couldn't stay away from me any longer, love?" Sirius comments as soon as I take the seat.

That's when something finally, really, snaps. "I don't know if it occurred to you, but there's no other seat left, Sirius. That's why I'm sitting here right now. I didn't choose to sit here, next to you." I say through gritted teeth, a tear escaping my eye. Before he can see the tear, I wipe it away.

I can feel him staring at me, and for the first time, he doesn't come back with a stupid remark about how hurt he is.

The rest of class he's rather quiet, sometimes asking one thing or another about the material. Only at the end of class, when he notices my anger has worn off, he dares to make another flirty comment. "You know, (L/N), I think you and I should get kids, they'd be so fucking gorgeous."

The last wall that was standing straight in my mind, just broke down. Tears spill from my eyes rapidly and without saying anything, without looking around even once, I run away from him, I run away from him and my other friends, all the way up to the astronomy tower.

I don't even care about the fact that I still have one class to attend. I just throw my stuff down on the ground and sit down at the edge of the tower, trying to calm my feelings.

I must've been there for a while, 'cause when a voice speaks up from behind me it tells me that I've missed two hours of class. The voice that speaks makes me cry again.

"C'mon sweetheart, what's wrong?" Sirius comments, still that flirtatious tone in his voice.

I jump up, startling Sirius in the process. His expression growing genuinely concerned when he sees how red and puffy my eyes are.

"Just stop it, Sirius! Stop the fucking flirting. It's breaking me! I can't handle any more of it. I was always jealous of the girl's you flirted with, but now, experiencing it myself, I'd rather watch you flirt with someone else than being flirted with. It hurts, alright?! It FUCKING HURTS. I love you, Sirius. And the fact that you're just flirting with me for your own amusement and entertainment is breaking me. Ever since you started flirting with I have been having breakdowns, because I didn't want to tell you to knock it off, afraid I'd reveal my feelings. But I can't go on like this. You're breaking me."

What started as a screaming rant, ends in a soft confession. Tears streaming down my face. The fact that I just confessed to him doesn't even sink in.

It's quiet for a while and I don't dare look up at Sirius, he's probably laughing his ass off or something.

But he isn't. He is currently walking over to me. He places a hand underneath my chin and lifts my head up with one finger. "Look at me, (Y/N)." he says softly, it's almost a whisper.

"Usually, when I flirt with someone, it doesn't last longer than a day, two at most. Because those girls I flirt with don't really matter to me. Can you remember how long I've been flirting with you?" he asks and I shake my head, still not meeting his eyes.

"I've been flirting with you for over a week now. Which means, you're not like those girls that mean nothing to me. I've been keeping up the flirting, because I'd like to actually be able to say those things to you, without being scared of your rejection. That's why I kept flirting an keep being a prick, instead of making a real move. But do know, (Y/N), that those girls I've flirted with, have always been a distraction. The one I've always had true, genuine feelings for, is you. I never acted upon them, because Peter told me very specifically that you were off-limits as his cousin, but I couldn't do it anymore. I just couldn't ignore my feelings for you any longer. I love you, I genuinely love you. I know you probably don't believe me, but it's true."

At those three words, I finally move my eyes to look into his. All I can see on his face is sincerity. "This isn't just some other prank?" I ask.

He shakes his head, "I wouldn't do this if I were kidding." he says before leaning in and brushing his lips against mine. Leaving enough time and room for me to back out if I want to, but I don't want to. This is all I've ever wanted for a long time now.

I push myself up on my toes and press my lips to his. He kisses me with so much passion, pouring all his love into it. It's everything I've always imagined it to be, but so much more.

After a couple of minutes we break apart and a smile spreads across my face, "So you love me?" I ask him, a cheeky grin resting on my face.

He lets out a laugh, "And you love me, isn't that a funny coincidence?"

I nudge him playfully, but he is soon to catch my hand with his and intertwines our fingers, placing a kiss on the back of my hand. "Am I allowed to call you my girlfriend, now?" he asks, a hint of genuine nervousness in his voice.

I smile at him and peck his lips, "I'd love to be your girlfriend, Sirius."


End file.
